Porn has always been a controversial topic to start with. There is difference in opinion on how porn can positively or negatively affect a human and his different relationships. To tell the truth, porn has more negative effects than positive, especially on married couples. Some may argue that porn increases libido and relieves stress, but the question is where do you draw the line?
Because let me tell you there’s a difference between habit and addiction. And more often than not your or your partner’s porn-watching habit turns out to be an addiction and is the reason behind your failing marriage.
Anything in excess has a potential to damage your well-being, and I mean, ANYTHING. So at the age of 16 what is an innocent blue film, if continued on a regular, unhealthy basis, is an addiction, at the age of 32, which can ruin your relationship.
Patrick Fagan, Ph.D. researched on the study of pornography and called it a “quiet family killer.” His study found that 56% of divorces had one partner with an obsessive interest in porn. That is how bad porn affects a married life.
It’s difficult to talk about porn addiction, even for couples who have been in a relationship for years due to the obvious prejudice and fear surrounding it. But our blogs are a safe place to research and talk about. So let’s discuss the devastating effects porn can have on your relationship.
Unrealistic Expectations
The first fact that needs to be addressed is The Porn Industry is a multi-million dollar industry. It is also an entertainment industry and at the end of it the actors act out erotic scenes to make it visually pleasing. To compare that to your REAL marriage is absurd and offensive to your partner. And of course, this also leads to a false image of sex in your head and ultimately you have unreal expectations from your partner. Let’s be real for a minute, okay, even if you wanted to, you couldn’t bend that way!
Infidelity and trust issues
Porn creates trust and intimacy issues between couples. It is a well-established fact of social science that porn is closely related to infidelity. Not to mention, many wives think watching porn is a form of cheating. Of course, the fact that you would rather be turned on by some other woman when your wife is in the house, is, in fact, upsetting and not entirely wrong. Porn, therefore, creates a barrier between partners and breaks down the intimacy and after some time you find yourself being turned on only through porn.
Degrading and unsatisfying sex
Prolonged use of porn affects your mindset on sex also. Slowly but surely your views about sexual intercourse start degrading. It leads to more violent and abhorring depictions of sex and also the objectification of women. It is very corrosive to your relationship. You also become more and more unsatisfied with your sex life. Because of the false belief that porn gives you, you start judging your partner, rate their attractiveness and in some cases consider the affair to satisfy your sexual needs. And this all goes on because of the false image you have presented yourself within your head.
Passion is lost
Porn is anything but genuine lovemaking. That should be your cue to reality. But what porn does to your sex life is it eats away the passion and the spiritual aspect of love. You are forced to believe in the animalistic approach of sex and hence you don’t feel the connection you once had with your partner anymore.
Guilt overtakes your life
Even if you know you have a problem and would want to seek help, the taboo associated with porn, and your guilt will hold you against it. Most people who have a porn addiction also are aware of their misdoings. This leads to more guilt and shame in their path. You feel like you cannot talk to your partner or seek help because you worry about being judged and create more problems. There is also a sense of adultery associated with porn which you are aware of, and it isolates you more. This can also have a psychological impact on you.
The porn industry is growing as we speak. Almost 90% of internet porn users have access to free porn. And the dangerous and degrading material that is accessible for free is highly alarming. 88% of adult scenes contain physical and verbal aggression. About 83% of college going boys agreed to have watched porn and more than half have viewed it since the age of 13.
At the age of 13, what effect do you think would porn have had on such impressionable minds?
Almost 68 percent of adult men and about 18 percent of adult women use porn at least once each week. Porn can very well affect your married life and relationship. It is a dangerous addiction and like all addictions can take over your life, in a matter of time without you realizing. Because people don’t talk about it and like to keep it to their incognito tabs, it spreads slowly until it has complete control over your sexual being and you feel like you cannot pleasure yourself or climax without an external help. A marriage has already begun in a downward spiral when outside sexual influences work their way into it, and as those influences become stronger, your marriage becomes weaker by the minute.
So, before anything, talk to your partner about your or their porn addiction, without being judgemental or aggressive. You and your partner need to understand where you both have headed once this addiction comes to play. There are many professionals available for help if you want to seek advice. It will have a positive effect on your condition only.
Porn is related to many things- infidelity, aggression, and dissatisfaction being the few of them. But the one thing it affects most is your mind. Because this all goes on in your head, your temptations, your dissatisfaction towards sex is all just a false image that you make when you view porn.
When you watch a movie or a tv series, you dive into it knowing that it is not the reality. You will not be slaying any dragons or be flying on broomsticks- you wish you could for some time, but then you return back to your routine life. So then why do you have such expectations while watching porn?
I hope this helped you with your problems. If you have any other issue you can discuss it down below or just email me. I’ll try my best to solve your issues.
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